oh God. stupid song stuck in my head.
Don't get me wrong, it's a great song, but it's been on "replay" in my head for the whole of yesterday and since I woke up (half an hour ago)
it's Replay by IYAZ.
Oh the irony.
Shawty's like a melody,
In my head that I can't get wrong,
Got me singing like,
Na Na Na everyday,
Like my iPod stuck on replay.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Sleep it Off
Most of the time, just sleeping doesn't make your troubles go away. It's just delaying it.
But currently, I have no troubles, just a troubled heart and mind. I think too much.
And yet, sleep isn't helping me. It's not making these feelings of sadness go away.
Well, for the most part, it does, but once I hit night time... it just... comes flooding back.
For once, I think, that it's safe enough for me to be selfish and say that it's not fair.
You'll never hear me say it seriously ever again. I always joke about with the word "unfair", hell, I don't even remember the last time I said it. That's how much I don't think of things that way.
God, I sound arrogant.
But really. It's just plain unfair on me. I think so, anyway.
Still, I keep believing for when she will come along into my life.
But currently, I have no troubles, just a troubled heart and mind. I think too much.
And yet, sleep isn't helping me. It's not making these feelings of sadness go away.
Well, for the most part, it does, but once I hit night time... it just... comes flooding back.
For once, I think, that it's safe enough for me to be selfish and say that it's not fair.
You'll never hear me say it seriously ever again. I always joke about with the word "unfair", hell, I don't even remember the last time I said it. That's how much I don't think of things that way.
God, I sound arrogant.
But really. It's just plain unfair on me. I think so, anyway.
Still, I keep believing for when she will come along into my life.
How Can You Mend A Broken Heart
well, Liam's going for 60 songs in 60 days.
I'm not that good with my music, so my aim is 60 poems in 60 days.
I think I'll make a page for it... oh god. Another page... Another link on the Index...
anyway, going to get ready to go to work now.
I'm not that good with my music, so my aim is 60 poems in 60 days.
I think I'll make a page for it... oh god. Another page... Another link on the Index...
anyway, going to get ready to go to work now.
Let it Fly
Let it mellow.
Let it out.
You'll feel better.
There's nothing to feel better about.
You're lonely.
Let it out.
You'll feel better.
There's nothing to feel better about.
You're lonely.
Smile it Away
Don't judge me,
Don't look past my visage.
Please, just let me be,
Just remember darkness as my image.
Don't look past my visage.
Please, just let me be,
Just remember darkness as my image.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Something About Me
I've often been asked to describe my perfect girl, and every time I give the same answer: I don't know.
I don't know, because I think that it doesn't matter to me at the moment. When she comes along, then I'll know who she is. If I describe the perfect girl of my tastes, then there's a small chance of her actually appearing in my life. If she does appear in my life, more than likely, nothing would spark between the two of us, so why should I describe someone whom I know there's a chance I can't have, when I can just wait it out for the one who IS perfect? And if I do describe my perfect girl, would that not seem a bit shallow?
Even if I meet someone in the future who fits all the criteria that I list, maybe she's not the one for me. Bit cynical, but you know. Shit happens, and they affect you.
But without further ado, maybe on the screen I can describe who my ideal woman is.
Let's start with looks, the shallow end.
Hair:
I'm a fan of longer hair, preferably shoulder length and down, but I'm not too fussy if she has short hair either. Different hair lengths look good on different people, and sometimes I get used to it, and it actually starts to look good. But again, I don't mind very much, because hair grows back.
She would have either brown or black hair. They're the first choices, but I also like pure blonde hair or blonde turning brunette.
- I don't mind about the hair colour, because again, different colours look good on different people.
Summarising the hair:
It doesn't really matter. Different hair styles look good on different people. However, if I saw a girl with blonde hair or brown hair, I'd probably choose brown.
Eyes:
Meh. Is all I can say. I don't really pay much attention to their eyes. I should though, because if you make more eye contact, then it's a deeper relationship (apparently, because the eyes are the window to the soul). But then I'd probably stare into her eyes, and just been drawn in, and not actually notice her eye colour.
Lips:
I suppose I like thin lips more, but if they're a bit thicker then it's alright. Just not any of the ones that are humungo jumbo...
Figure:
Okay. This is a slightly trickier one. We as men are programmed naturally to desire hourglass figures, because it's something to do with the reproduction process whereby subconsciously we think they're a good candidate for mating because they "have the body" to carry a baby. But I don't know the full story. So that's up there on the list as well. But I don't know...
One thing I don't like AT ALL... are stick figures. Women who are overly skinny... just turn me off. I also tend to veer towards liking women who have a fuller bust. God, such a chauvinist. But meh.
Height:
Better for me if she's either my height, or shorter. I think I'd like the top of her head to reach anywhere between my chest and the top of my head. Any shorter or taller than that... I'm not too sure about... but again, if the perfect one comes along, and it's either of those two, then I'm sure I'll get over it.
I think that about sums her up, looks wise. Oh, and hopefully no facial piercings... Just the ears.. I can deal with, but no where else on the face. I can't really go into the small details about the rest of her body, because I'm sure they're the little things that even if I describe the complete opposite of being the ideal thing, that I'd fall in love with.
PERSONALITY! :
This, I have no fucking clue. But hopefully an IQ to match my own, don't want a girlfriend who's way too stupid (like.. blonde stupid) or way too smart... although the latter I'm flexible on.
She's a responsible drinker. Doesn't smoke. No drugs, for sure.
A bit outgoing, like.. willing to go out to dinner and stuff, doesn't want to just stay indoors all the time.
Encourages me to do things that I find hard to do, but want to do. Wouldn't force me to do something that I don't want to, or is smart enough to trick me into doing it, because she knows I'll be happier after doing it.
Willing to hug/cuddle. Can't believe I thought of that only after all of these other ones.
Sexual Fantasies: not going there. don't even know why I mentioned it. shhh. pretend you didn't read this.
---------------------------------------
That is about all that I can think of. As you can see, it IS a bit ambiguous, but if you do know someone like that, please feel free to introduce me =D
Oh, and I've mentioned this before, but I don't believe in love at first sight, only attraction at first sight. Love... yes it can be instant, but it's something that's fostered after getting to know someone... you could probably be in love with someone after two seconds of knowing them, but not by just looking at them.
Oh, and guys, you're not usually the ones to make the first moves. The girls are actually sending you signals for you to approach them, we're just too stupid to understand what they are, so it takes a good ten minutes for us to muster up the courage to walk over and talk to them. Ladies, it's quicker if you just walked over and said jokingly "I noticed you staring at me".
I don't know, because I think that it doesn't matter to me at the moment. When she comes along, then I'll know who she is. If I describe the perfect girl of my tastes, then there's a small chance of her actually appearing in my life. If she does appear in my life, more than likely, nothing would spark between the two of us, so why should I describe someone whom I know there's a chance I can't have, when I can just wait it out for the one who IS perfect? And if I do describe my perfect girl, would that not seem a bit shallow?
Even if I meet someone in the future who fits all the criteria that I list, maybe she's not the one for me. Bit cynical, but you know. Shit happens, and they affect you.
But without further ado, maybe on the screen I can describe who my ideal woman is.
Let's start with looks, the shallow end.
Hair:
I'm a fan of longer hair, preferably shoulder length and down, but I'm not too fussy if she has short hair either. Different hair lengths look good on different people, and sometimes I get used to it, and it actually starts to look good. But again, I don't mind very much, because hair grows back.
She would have either brown or black hair. They're the first choices, but I also like pure blonde hair or blonde turning brunette.
- I don't mind about the hair colour, because again, different colours look good on different people.
Summarising the hair:
It doesn't really matter. Different hair styles look good on different people. However, if I saw a girl with blonde hair or brown hair, I'd probably choose brown.
Eyes:
Meh. Is all I can say. I don't really pay much attention to their eyes. I should though, because if you make more eye contact, then it's a deeper relationship (apparently, because the eyes are the window to the soul). But then I'd probably stare into her eyes, and just been drawn in, and not actually notice her eye colour.
Lips:
I suppose I like thin lips more, but if they're a bit thicker then it's alright. Just not any of the ones that are humungo jumbo...
Figure:
Okay. This is a slightly trickier one. We as men are programmed naturally to desire hourglass figures, because it's something to do with the reproduction process whereby subconsciously we think they're a good candidate for mating because they "have the body" to carry a baby. But I don't know the full story. So that's up there on the list as well. But I don't know...
One thing I don't like AT ALL... are stick figures. Women who are overly skinny... just turn me off. I also tend to veer towards liking women who have a fuller bust. God, such a chauvinist. But meh.
Height:
Better for me if she's either my height, or shorter. I think I'd like the top of her head to reach anywhere between my chest and the top of my head. Any shorter or taller than that... I'm not too sure about... but again, if the perfect one comes along, and it's either of those two, then I'm sure I'll get over it.
I think that about sums her up, looks wise. Oh, and hopefully no facial piercings... Just the ears.. I can deal with, but no where else on the face. I can't really go into the small details about the rest of her body, because I'm sure they're the little things that even if I describe the complete opposite of being the ideal thing, that I'd fall in love with.
PERSONALITY! :
This, I have no fucking clue. But hopefully an IQ to match my own, don't want a girlfriend who's way too stupid (like.. blonde stupid) or way too smart... although the latter I'm flexible on.
She's a responsible drinker. Doesn't smoke. No drugs, for sure.
A bit outgoing, like.. willing to go out to dinner and stuff, doesn't want to just stay indoors all the time.
Encourages me to do things that I find hard to do, but want to do. Wouldn't force me to do something that I don't want to, or is smart enough to trick me into doing it, because she knows I'll be happier after doing it.
Willing to hug/cuddle. Can't believe I thought of that only after all of these other ones.
Sexual Fantasies: not going there. don't even know why I mentioned it. shhh. pretend you didn't read this.
---------------------------------------
That is about all that I can think of. As you can see, it IS a bit ambiguous, but if you do know someone like that, please feel free to introduce me =D
Oh, and I've mentioned this before, but I don't believe in love at first sight, only attraction at first sight. Love... yes it can be instant, but it's something that's fostered after getting to know someone... you could probably be in love with someone after two seconds of knowing them, but not by just looking at them.
Oh, and guys, you're not usually the ones to make the first moves. The girls are actually sending you signals for you to approach them, we're just too stupid to understand what they are, so it takes a good ten minutes for us to muster up the courage to walk over and talk to them. Ladies, it's quicker if you just walked over and said jokingly "I noticed you staring at me".
Monday, December 28, 2009
I Don't Mind. At All.
It's not joy that you find day to day, if you're just happy. Are you wealthy? But does that mean you're rich with love? Not necessarily. Money can't buy love, I keep telling that to myself and others. But in a world of materialistic opinions, who actually 100% cares anymore? It's a tough thought, a painful one, but someone has to. Whether it's time to turn over a new leaf, or time to step on the old withering one; someone's always watching you, all the while wishing for no hurt in your life.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Queue to the Mental Institute
and I'm in it.
Gotta stop thinking about it. Nothing good ever comes of overthinking an issue, and this is really, really starting to make me insane.
Wouldn't be the first time, though.
Need a Drama get-together, I think. They're like an extended family, cos of all the things that we've done together, you know?
We've seen each other with our raw emotions, and that's what really brings people together into a tight circle.
And on top of that, I think it's cos we're all really good liars, so you know, it's a challenge when we play Mafia XD , makes it fun.
For a while there, I was lying to myself, to say that I'm happy these days. I'm joyous, but not joyful.
Two different things.
Major in Psychology, here I come. You've got to accept me, on the account that I'm half gone already.
Random thought here, random thought there. All over the place.
Gotta stop thinking about it. Nothing good ever comes of overthinking an issue, and this is really, really starting to make me insane.
Wouldn't be the first time, though.
Need a Drama get-together, I think. They're like an extended family, cos of all the things that we've done together, you know?
We've seen each other with our raw emotions, and that's what really brings people together into a tight circle.
And on top of that, I think it's cos we're all really good liars, so you know, it's a challenge when we play Mafia XD , makes it fun.
For a while there, I was lying to myself, to say that I'm happy these days. I'm joyous, but not joyful.
Two different things.
Major in Psychology, here I come. You've got to accept me, on the account that I'm half gone already.
Random thought here, random thought there. All over the place.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Drunken Phone Calls Never Work Out
so... just friends... that should work out.
sigh. There goes another.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
On another note, I'm not trying to sound arrogant or anything, but I've realised something about myself.
I know all these things about attracting the opposite sex. Hell, I've even been taught how to be a player, but you know, I've not once done any of those things. I can read emotions okay, I guess, not a pro, but I get the gist of their feelings.
And you know why I've never done anything like that? It's because I'm ugly, for the most part. That contributes to the fact that it probably wouldn't work. But also because I've been conditioned to expect true love. Doesn't matter how cynical I've become of movies, because I'm a drama student, I still think that true love exists, because I read so many books that portray it, and I watch so many movies that also portray it.
It's like I'm not taking advantage of whatever it is that I could do. I'm just waiting.
God, waiting sucks. But still, I believe in the time that it will come true.
Someone want to give me a reality check, please?
sigh. There goes another.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
On another note, I'm not trying to sound arrogant or anything, but I've realised something about myself.
I know all these things about attracting the opposite sex. Hell, I've even been taught how to be a player, but you know, I've not once done any of those things. I can read emotions okay, I guess, not a pro, but I get the gist of their feelings.
And you know why I've never done anything like that? It's because I'm ugly, for the most part. That contributes to the fact that it probably wouldn't work. But also because I've been conditioned to expect true love. Doesn't matter how cynical I've become of movies, because I'm a drama student, I still think that true love exists, because I read so many books that portray it, and I watch so many movies that also portray it.
It's like I'm not taking advantage of whatever it is that I could do. I'm just waiting.
God, waiting sucks. But still, I believe in the time that it will come true.
Someone want to give me a reality check, please?
Friday, December 25, 2009
Down
Hmmm...
Merry Christmas, again.
oh man... need something to make me happy =( or, more joyful that what I'm feeling, at least
Festive. Need something to make me feel festive.
Merry Christmas, again.
oh man... need something to make me happy =( or, more joyful that what I'm feeling, at least
Festive. Need something to make me feel festive.
I Find Meaning
I don't know.
Christmas... New Year's... I just wish I had that special someone to spend it with.
That's all I wish for this year.
But it's a bit late, you know? Seeing as it's already Christmas...
Sigh.
I could try for New Year's, but I can't go out =( Mum's overseas, bro probably has something to do already, and that leaves dad alone. Can't have that happening. So I might as well stay home NYE.
Sleep soon, need to pick people up from airport tomorrow morn.
I actually have a blog I need to write up, but it's getting late. Gotta save that topic for later. Not really Christmas material.
Merry Christmas, everyone.
Christmas... New Year's... I just wish I had that special someone to spend it with.
That's all I wish for this year.
But it's a bit late, you know? Seeing as it's already Christmas...
Sigh.
I could try for New Year's, but I can't go out =( Mum's overseas, bro probably has something to do already, and that leaves dad alone. Can't have that happening. So I might as well stay home NYE.
Sleep soon, need to pick people up from airport tomorrow morn.
I actually have a blog I need to write up, but it's getting late. Gotta save that topic for later. Not really Christmas material.
Merry Christmas, everyone.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
This pretty much sums up 2009 for me.
Michael Buble:
"You Don't Know Me"
You give your hand to me
Then you say hello
I can hardly speak
My heart is beating so
And anyone can tell
You think you know me well
But you don't know me
No, you don't know the one
Who dreams of you at night
And longs to kiss your lips
And longs to hold you tight
Oh I'm just a friend
That's all I've ever been
'Cause you don't know me
I never knew
The art of making love
Though my heart aches
With love for you
Afraid and shy
I've let my chance to go by
The chance that you might
Love me, too
You give your hand to me
And then you say good-bye
I watch you walk away
Beside the lucky guy
You'll never never know
The one who loves you so
Well, you don't know me
You give your hand to me, baby
Then you say good-bye
I watch you walk away
Beside the lucky guy
No, no, you'll never ever know
The one who loves you so
Well, you don't know me
"You Don't Know Me"
You give your hand to me
Then you say hello
I can hardly speak
My heart is beating so
And anyone can tell
You think you know me well
But you don't know me
No, you don't know the one
Who dreams of you at night
And longs to kiss your lips
And longs to hold you tight
Oh I'm just a friend
That's all I've ever been
'Cause you don't know me
I never knew
The art of making love
Though my heart aches
With love for you
Afraid and shy
I've let my chance to go by
The chance that you might
Love me, too
You give your hand to me
And then you say good-bye
I watch you walk away
Beside the lucky guy
You'll never never know
The one who loves you so
Well, you don't know me
You give your hand to me, baby
Then you say good-bye
I watch you walk away
Beside the lucky guy
No, no, you'll never ever know
The one who loves you so
Well, you don't know me
It's Practically the New Year
A new blog, to signal a new chapter in my life.
And with a new chapter, new developments take place.
She is... now the object of my affection... that sounds bad... but I don't know how else to put it...
And with a new chapter, new developments take place.
She is... now the object of my affection... that sounds bad... but I don't know how else to put it...
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