Even the Best Fall Down Sometimes

-- "Collide", Howie Day

Why am I blogging?

Because last night, I struck myself with the sudden need to blog, but couldn't do so, because my phone was not functioning properly. Safari broke =( so I couldn't blog off my phone.

Nothing profound in this blog. I've found that Philosophy is taking up most of my profound thought time, therefore, I have no need to think deeply about any certain topic.

I tend to think too much, but that's a totally different matter altogether. Back to the problem at hand.

I'm regressing. Slowly. Not surely though. I'm coming through with my own solution. It's just taking a bit of time. A bit of a long time. The better half of the fucking semester, I have to say.

So maybe this remission will take me all the way back to the start. Maybe it won't.

I hope for the former.

The only way I've stayed sane enough these past few days is by looking at that photo I have as my phone wallpaper. Knew it was my good luck charm. =)

"I just can't stop loving you." -- Michael Jackson.

But I want to.
Dear whomsoever this is addressed to, I don't know if you still read anymore. I don't want an answer either, please. You'll just give me hope. I don't want that. I don't want to be hung onto every word of yours anymore.
Why does it happen like this every single time? We talk, we chat, we have heart to hearts. And then not long after, I start falling for you again. I can't stand it everytime, because I know there's no chance at all that you'd like me in that way. So I stop talking to you.
And then I get down about myself. Get all depressed, close myself off to the world. Cry at night sometimes.
And it's like you understand this or something, and you don't even take the initiative to try to talk to me, and just leave me alone to mill over every failed chance. That actually hurts the most. The fact that you don't bother talking to me, like we'd have no connection at all unless I look for you.
And maybe a month later, I tell myself that I'm over you. And I believe myself intensely. So I test the waters, talk to you a bit again. It's fine. Until you reach out for me because you want someone to talk to. And boom, the cycle repeats again.
I can stand it for the first two months, but after that, I just can't stop myself from liking you.
It's been two years since this has started. I can't keep doing this to myself, and you need to let me know so too.
"If you love me, let me know. If not, please gently let me go." -- Unknown

God. I hate myself so much right now. Please, I don't want any comments. Just let me deal with this myself.

Turn Off Those Lights

Uhh, 8 minutes until Earth Hour. I'll just be turning off the lights, but not my computer.. unless I have something else to do.

But I highly doubt that.

Such a global event. The sheer scale of it overwhelms me with excitement... Kind of.

What's troublin' me...

Not much really =/

Just the norm, girls and school.

HAH.

I laugh at myself, because they're such petty worries.

Fairy Lights

Gahh, it's 11pm, and already, the lack of sleep from last night is taking a toll on me.

The point of this blog is really nothing, other than I haven't blogged in a while..

Hmm, Uni is pretty cool still, although I think I'm gradually beginning to dislike it...

I have no idea why.

Just a side note, I hate Physics Labs. Seriously can not wait until next sememster, when they'll be replaced by Computer Labs ^__^

Psychology is still interesting, and I'm actually learning something!

Same with most of my other subjects, but maths is still a bitch to understand. Don't get me wrong, I can understand it, but only after hours of explanation...

Hmm, philosophy is slow for me to understand as well, but I'm getting there... and I just realised, that both Psychology and Philosophy are pretty anti-religion courses xD

Not something I should laugh, or smile about, but just a small fact.

So yeah, nothing profound in this blog. Just a small recollection of thoughts about week 2 and 3 of Uni.

Heavens strike me down should that happen to me again.

What Does It Matter

okay. I don't care how I'm seen anymore. I'm going to start running game.

Hate the game, not the player.

Seems Like...

Well, I think it's due time for me to write another post. It's been a while, hasn't it? Err.. about 3 weeks.

So, after that last post, I flew over to Hong Kong, where I had a ton of fun, but seriously, I couldn't wait to get home. The excitement of Uni starting was just making everything in Hong Kong a bit tedious. Yeah, it was just a daily routine of going out. I got sick of walking... lol.

But that's how Hong Kong is. It's the lifestyle there. Hell, they don't really even check how old you are. I managed to get drinks at 3 different places. =D

Anyway, I went back to HK to buy a new laptop, which was my top priority. I managed to get a whole heap of new clothes as well, and somehow managed to shop for, and buy my laptop on the last day I was there.

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Uni's been on for two days now, and well, the worst of it is over, I believe. Except for tomorrow, when I have SUMS [Sydney University Musical Society] i.e. the USyd Choir rehearsals. There's a free BBQ beforehand, and I'm sure I'll meet new people, seeing as apparently no one else whom I know has joined up... That ends at 9:30pm, so I'll get home around 11pm, and have to get up at 5...

Or, I could just skip this Thursday altogether... 4 lectures and a lab that starts next week... But I'm a good Uni student (/sarcasm) and I want to attend those lectures...

PHIL1011 today was interesting. I believe it is the one that has gotten my attention better than the rest of my courses... And it's also got me back to thinking on matters other than my own petty life.

On that note... is there anyone who actually still reads my meaningless rants, or has it just reduced to nothing but cliche and angst that it has no merit and therefore does not deserve to be read? Please comment if you do still read. =)

Anyway, back to Uni.

Changing from CHNS1201 to PHIL1011 was probably my best Uni decision so far, because it got rid of one of my clashes, and I'm actually interested in what they have to offer in the PHIL course.

Hmm... MATH1902 is alright, and I'm still actually able to understand what they're going on about... if I don't fall asleep... XD

And PSYC1001 was just full of crap on Monday. That lecturer... Well, needless to say, I went and skipped that one, because I'd heard all about it from Ant and Mini. That's pretty bad... the first day of Uni wasn't even over yet, and I'd fallen asleep in the last 10min of PHYS1002 and skipped the next lecture which was PSYC1001.

Oh, you'll never get a record like that anywhere else... But to justify my decision, those introductory lectures should just be burnt.

Seriously, I actually learned something today in MATH1902... which was actually better than in the introductory lecture...

Hmm, well, tomorrow's going to be pretty busy in the afternoon, I've got no classes until 2 o'clock, and so I'll probably take my time leaving the house...

Hmm, I've made a list of the people from Girra who attend USyd, and it's about 30 people, maybe a few more whom I don't even know about... and I've just been interacting with them most of the time. I haven't even made any Uni friends yet... ain't no other way XD

So anyway, Uni is quite cool at the moment, so we'll just leave it at that.

More to come later...

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I can't believe I was unable to match my goal of finishing 60 poems in 60 days, but it's not really surprising, understanding my own personality... Shit lazy. Can't write creatively for shit. It all counts. But I believe I can at least churn out 60 poems, and I will work towards that. I already have a few more poems written down in my small notebook, just never got the time to type them out... or more like too lazy to. Anyway, just be expecting more poems soon =D

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P.S. Comment please!